Understanding Compulsive Sexual Behaviours
Compulsive sexual behaviours can feel overwhelming, isolating, and out of control. Whether you’re struggling with the behaviour yourself or it’s impacting your relationship, it can leave you feeling disconnected, ashamed, and unsure where to turn for help. But, there is hope. With support, you can begin to understand these behaviours and move towards healing.
I work with individuals and with couples where one or both partners are struggling with Compulsive Sexual Behaviour. I also support the partners of people with Compulsive Sexual Behaviour.
Why “Compulsive Sexual Behaviours” and not “Sex Addiction”
The traditional sex addiction approach often has a strong focus upon avoiding triggers and this can be extended to the avoidance of any sexual stimuli whatsoever- an almost impossible challenge! In my view, this method of treatment may increase shame and result in an unhappy and unnecessarily constricted sex life. Sex Addiction as a condition is not recognised by the World Health Organisation or International Classification of Disease.
Compulsive behaviours are usually adopted to help mask uncomfortable or difficult feelings. Once we understand why you are adopting the Compulsive Sexual Behaviours we can work on treating these. The principal focus of my approach is therefore understanding and then treating the root cause.
Common Issues We Explore
When it comes to addressing compulsive sexual behaviours, a range of related challenges can emerge, including:
- Feelings of shame, guilt, and secrecy
- Repeated cycles of destructive behaviour
- Impact on intimacy and relationships
- Struggles with self-worth and identity
- Fear of losing control
- Partner betrayal and broken trust
By identifying the emotional and psychological drivers behind the behaviour, we can begin to untangle the complex web of thoughts, feelings, and triggers that may be contributing to these patterns.
How I Treat Compulsive Sexual Behaviours
I use a three step approach:
- Managing the urges. I use techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation and emotional regulation to help you.
- Treating Compulsivity. Understanding why you have adopted Compulsive Sexual Behaviours and treating the underlying issue(s).
- Rebuilding. Helping you live a happy and healthy life without the Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, including a healthy sex life.
- Consent
- Nonexploitation
- Protection from HIV, STIs and Unwanted Pregnancy
- Honesty
- Shared Values
- Mutual Pleasure
(Braun- Harvey and Vigorito (2016) )
Moving Forward with Compassion
Whether you’re seeking to regain control over your own behaviours or support a partner through the healing process, I am here to help. Together, we can explore the path ahead with compassion and understanding, helping you find peace and balance in your life.
Supporting Partners
If you are a partner or ex- partner of someone with Compulsive Sexual Behaviours you may be struggling with a wide range of emotions such as anger, grief, confusion and numbness. Perhaps it has made a real impact on your self-esteem, resurfaced childhood issues or violated your core beliefs. Perhaps you cannot make any sense out of what has happened. However you are feeling, I will be here to support you and help you move forward with your life at your own pace.
If you’re ready to take that first step towards recovery, reach out today to schedule an initial session.
